i’ve always believed everything i wanted was meant for me, and i was resented for that. i have never doubted my creative power, and you hated me for it. a confidence given to me by a life of adamantine faith, and i quickly learned i could never teach what time had given me.

i have never felt so resented by someone, especially when all i did was try to share everything i had. i suppose there are some people who have awaken to their mortal limitations, while the rest of us artists and dreamers are still asleep in the garden.

i was raised by dreamers and hard-workers. they instilled in me that anything i wanted could be mine with vision, consistency and hard-work. my own vulnerability has rarely occurred to me. i know that most of this is privilege, some of it, persistence. i like to think of it as a combination of taking advantage of every opportunity, coupled with diligent effort day in and day out.

this past year has taught me that you can’t give that to someone else. it is only something that the passing of time, and perseverance through challenges can give.

if you can’t determine the motivations, look at the actions and infer the motivations. i have never been satisfied with simply getting by. i want to be great. i recognize my capacity for malevolence, and that makes me human. it also makes me powerful beyond measure. women don’t want weak and kind men, they want men who have met with their dark side and harnessed it into potential.

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