ready for the roses

I could liken you to a werwolf, the way you left me for dead. But I admit, I provided a full moon. 

I know the fiction of the fix. You were always so sensible. You could never wrap your head around the dreamworld I lived in, but you loved me anyway. 

I swan-dived from the sky and you made it all possible here in reality. I haven't been to reality in a while, I'm not even sure if it exists anymore. I only believe in the stuff of my dreams. 

The thing is, you want to be in my head, in my bed. The only way to my heart is through my mind, a realm you'll never master. If you weren't born a dreamer, you can never become one. I was raised in unconditional love that allowed me the freedom to hope, and you were left. 

I cannot rise from that low for you, or show you all there is to see up here. I can't teach you what it's like to be fearless, to be removed from the feeling of failure. I was loved into this freedom from birth, something I can never give to you. 

I'm not afraid to be alone, to be left. In fact, I am better because of it. I can't love you into living your truth or taking risks. The person I love is myself, and I give those things to me. 

So what I'm saying is, I'm ready for the roses. I'm ready for people and love as passionate as I am. We fall by the thorns, but get up again and again. Because if you can look up, you can get up. 

dress by For Love + Lemons 

makeup by Gina Frey

photos by Jen Senn

beach blonde

"summer skin found another lover" 

I sold my wishes to the sea. They washed away all my hopes and plans. I crawled under the comfort of another sand. 

Summer skin found another lover. Another's embrace, another's hands soft as the open ocean. 

And what would it be like to drift, to let go into the blue. No need for another's touch or affirmations. The natural world around us - the only affirmation we ever needed. Everything is alright and nothing is okay. 

Summer is going to be a declaration of hope. A leap into faith that things can go back to how they were, or only get better. My sun-soaked skin is hoping for the latter. 

grey palm tree swimsuit by Lulus

black weekender bag by Lulus

stick with me gold ring by Lulus

hippie chic cream maxi dress by Lulus

oahu loves you light blue lace kimono by Lulus

peach crystal ring by Lulus

O'Neill Skye pants by Lulus

traveler white crop top by Lulus

photos by Golden Hippy

how about now

"crazy how you gotta wait until it's dark out to see who's really with you" 

Living fast and dying last. Finally living. Girl, how about now? Always felt like my vision been bigger than the bigger picture. Crazy how shit will come back around and get you. 

And you probably don't remember half the shit a bitch did for ya. 

You ain't really fuck with me way back then, but how bout now? 

Cause I'm up right now, and you stuck right now. You though the little effort that you put in was enough, but how bout now? 

x x 

living fast jacket by Chi Flo

living fast deep side cut tee by Chi Flo

photos by Worn Out

outlaw summer with H&M

"Would you be an outlaw for my love?" 

 Summer starts now, 6AM make-out sessions on the beach and endless road trips away from the city. Two tickets torn in half. A long ride on the train into the deep forest. A flight across the Appalachian mountains and things we only see in magazines. I saw the entire country with you from above. Not a cloud in the sky, just forest turning into desert as we flew from Manhattan to Los Angeles. 

We haven't watched Netflix in two weeks. We were in the world around us. Removed from rituals, we wandered and saw things of our dreams manifested in real time. Greens so bright and whiskey so sour. We go west, we go north. We paint it black. 

Next up, Colorado and Portland. Anywhere we're free from who we have to be when we're home. 

x x 

Hey guys! I recently teamed up with H&M for their #summerstartsnow campaign. They've got swimwear starting at $4.99 and all the amazing beachy, dreamy tunics you could think of. For my summer look though, I choose all black pieces, (duh.) My leather top, suede fringe skirt and leather vest is all from H&M. It was SO inexpensive too! I encourage you guys to go check out your local H&M and get a badland outlaw baby look like me. Summer starts now, so dress for it! 

leather vest by H&M

leather crop top by H&M

suede fringe summer skirt by H&M

makeup by Gina Frey

photos by Jen Senn

never love a cowboy

"you're giving all your cinnamon away" 

"Never love a cowboy," said mama. They're wild and waste. They'll take you halfway across the country just to drink whiskey and share a toothbrush. They'll sleep on the hotel floor and stay in the lobby drinking for two. 

Cowboys like to steal cars and make love in the mountains. She's been craving to get outside the city, so she'll leave with him. He'll be outside her apartment in his white cadillac. Cherry lipstick and a bohemian mindset, don't look back. 

She didn't pack much, just a few lace slips and her favorite hat. Black boots like her cowboy's and he says, "get wolf life me." 

First stop Nashville, crashing into a vintage bed and breakfast. They stayed out back in a cabin, with a fireplace on the floor and a bed you could drown in. Fresh milk in the fridge and a bathtub in the kitchen. 

She's got cuts on her hands and he's got burns on his sides. They open a bottle of whiskey and listen to the shins. They sit on the floor and dream side by side. So far away from it all. Runaway rush, messy-hair and intertwined limbs. He put his blood fingers on her lips and said, "keep that smile on your pretty face, cause you don't have much I can't take away." Tattoo lover with a cowboy soul. He'll always end up leaving, and she'll end up giving all her cinnamon away. 

shot at Urban Cowboy BnB

clothing by For Love and Lemons

makeup by Lisa Thai

photos by Jen Senn

i follow rivers

"What's outside is within me"

There is a place in my mind that knows no lows. Never had to come up for air. I follow rivers, streams, and heartache. I've listened to the inner-workings of my spirit, it howls for truth. 

Lately, I find myself returning to nature. Perhaps because I have found I am not indestructible, and I am searching for something more. The quiet that nature gives me is everything I need. I have never seen such truth and perfection, and I doubt I ever will. What God has given us is so perfect, how did we get so removed? 

The human spirit knows truth when it appears. There is nothing secret and there is nothing you cannot access. It has always been there and always will be. 

dress by For Love & Lemons

photos by Darien Maginn

teen spirit

"Hey glory child, don't you worry. I can see your skeleton so clear."

Hey glory child, I see you there. Shaking in your boots and singing in your fear. Call your phone on the late night. I recall your soul and tastes like, gardens, flowers. 

Sometimes I cut myself open, just to see if it's me. Bite my lips and breath as the blood drips. 

Then it's time for the evening. Pain reliever, fever reducer: and I forget all about the details of my day. Drinking champagne in your kitchen and an open bag of chips. We can't decide what to wear, so we throw everything into the living room. Piles of fur on the floor and I pretend to be a bear. 

But really, we've got no where to go and no one to be. Shooting stars and no one will actually see us. The night is only dependent upon our mind. Dancing to music and forgetting words we've written. 

We're just a little bit free. 

pink underwear by Jewel Toned

photos by Beth Kotz

morocco

"only do what you find beautiful" 

Saw the sunset and spent the night under the stars. It was nice, nothing I've ever known. And all we heard was the sound of the wind through the trees. 

Howl at the moon. I always believed there was something more. I went through life so articulate, but couldn't find the words for what I was looking for. 

Dying from daydreams in my bedroom. I never surrender to happiness. I am always looking for the next adventure. Everything is never enough and it is all too much. 

All of my fear and demons were screaming, but I give thanks through all my ups and downs. Be bold, for change does not happen on it's own. 

dress by For Love & Lemons

hat by Nasty Gal

photos by Darien Maginn

so high

"i know you ain't a drug, but you get me so high" 

Taking deep breaths, stretching across the floor and relieving my stress. I could get real used to you. I know you ain't a drug, but you get me so high. 

Speeding up my heart then relieving all my stress. Taking deep breaths. Just one bite and we up above it all sprawled on my living room floor. 

The day and the night turn into one, you're my drug. 

photos by Asha Efia for Off the Rails Magazine 

spring lemonade

"i have floated here on streams with you" 

I have floated here on streams with you, faded colors in the rain. We see through the exchanging of words, love for one another. We have played along side a million springs, fresh flowers and faded lips.

He draws me in from the periphery, softest fingers and the strongest gaze. Ocean washes me in its truffle waves. 

Old love that appears in shapes that renew and renew forever. Love never leaves, it just changes form. 

clothing by Gypsy Warrior

photos by Bao