smoke + rose

Drinking poison from a flower that never stung. No forewarning. The flower appeared in the garden of my mind. Born sick. Damaged love, but free of death. 

There's something tragic about sadness in spring. Everything is budding to life and you're dying inside.

I knew that look, eyes always seeking. A lust for life, but an internal penchant for self-destruction. To want to live so badly, but at the same time, to not want life at all. 

It was too much, the seasons, the smells, the trees, the opening of a flower. If only to return inside the mind, where everything was withering, dying.

This was her quality. Her magic trick. She desired the world so much in fact that she convinced herself that she did not want it all. 

two-piece set by Smoke + Rose 

necklace by Love + Leather

photos by Christina Emilie

pace is the trick

You can't hold it too tight, these matters of security. You don't have to be wound so tight, smoking on the balcony. 

She hangs off the edge, if only to feel what it's like to fear for one moment. She knows nothing of the kind. She lacks the ability to fear anything. Yet, she is haunted. 

She watches the loving that she wasted come raining down. However precious in the cosmic perspective, it all fades away. Her blue eyes wet, and following the speed in the starlight. 

Layers of self-destruction stripped away under the light of the moon. She can read death's design in the stars. It's a Wednesday night on a balcony in the West Village. She sees it all ahead of her, everything she must do to get to where she must be.  

Nothing holds a candle to these dreams of hers. No song, no spirit, no man. The dream is an insatiable need, everything else is unnecessary. 

She hangs off the edge of the balcony, if only to feel again what it might be like to lose it all. And the feeling is all too familiar. 

jacket by Stone Fox

leotard + body chain by Nasty Gal

heels by Melissa Shoes

photos by Jen Senn

sun chaser

Sink my grievances, let the sun take them. Third eye on fire, let the ego drown. I will come to your light in crescent moon, I am amongst the stars.

My heart belongs to me. I descend under the sun and I am happy alone in my own skin. I can't find a way to tell him I don't love him anymore.  Burry all my feelings I'm withholding. It's not fair to let him fall. 

So many to love, heart so open. But I must first love myself. Spirit name yet to be revealed, a warrior of love and kindness. chasing the light. 

bellbottoms + tees by Chaser

choker by Dolls Kill

aviators by Zero UV

photos by Darien Maginn

cotton candy sunset

Disco cherry pie. Rose lemonade and tie-dye pastels in the summer sun. The light flooded in as she opened her third eye to see more clearly. 

She could smell the violets. Astral travel. She knew she was not of this world. It was possible that she could dream in different colors and visit different planes. It began withe a pastel green, she left her physical body and first came to a place of safety and love. Here, she was greeted by the presence of her past mothers and warmed by their light. It was a garden of daises and a wooden swing situated under a kapok tree.

She then ascended deeper into space, seeing all time and place exists as one. The past, present and future were all happening now. Simultaneously real. Walking down a crystal hallway, she met with her spirit guide at the end. His masculine energy brought her all the love and peace she could ever need. He handed her a book, it was the book of her soul. In it, contained her life's purpose, her spirit's dharma. 

And instead of the book having words, each page held different sensations. The first page smelled of violets. It was exceedingly vibrant and satisfying. The scent filled her nose and she could literally be nothing else at that exact moment. The second page was a beautiful garden which unfolded in sound before her. She could hear all the animals, even the butterflies made faint gestures that they too were there. The animals were there, living harmoniously, and she could be nothing but a witness to their majestic sounds.

It was then time for her to travel home to her human body. Before coming back into the physical realm, she saw a giant purple light. It was as if a purple crystal had come into existence between her two eyes, perhaps her crown chakra guiding her home. 

Sahasarara, a thousand petals bringing her back into her body, back into awareness. She awoke, highly sensitive but highly awakened right before sunset. 

She knew she could live the love she dreamed, and fill her soul's purpose day by day. This human life is so very precious, every muscle hints at the adored fleetingness of it all. Every golden hour brings her a bit closer back to the light she craves. 

She coexists with love and that will never ever change. 

xo

tee shirt + bellbottoms by Chaser

pink daisy septum by Dolls Kill

photos by Darien Magiin

ritual union

If you haven't noticed from my instagram feed lately, I've been really into jewelry! I was lazy for a while, but jewelry really makes a look happen. It's all in the detail. 

Most of my jewels are not too pricy, I've purchased a few Vanessa Mooney pieces lately along with some other $$$ pieces, but I match those with cheap plastic chokers and candy rings. 

I perfectly remember the day I received my first diamond. My dad flew me to New York (my first time seeing the city) and we checked into the Ritz Carlton on Park Avenue South. He had an entire special day planned for me, which started with getting picked up by a limo to take us to all of our stops. First, we went to the magical Macy's (which I had only seen in Miracle on 34th street) and I picked out a dress to wear to The Lion King on Broadway that evening. We had a fancy lunch outside, sipping Coca-Cola and eating grilled cheese with a huge side of truffle fries! Then he said we had one more stop before we retired to the hotel to get ready for the play. The limo pulled up in front of the beautiful and huge Tiffany's on Fifth Avenue. We went inside where there were two women waiting for me to pick out my dream diamond necklace. I decided on a dainty piece with a single diamond. To this day, I still have that diamond with it's original box. It will always be the most special piece of jewelry I own, perhaps until I get married that is. 

On considering possible engagement rings (or just for fun diamond rings) I've been looking at Vashi. They have beautifully cut diamonds and even a place where you can custom design your perfect ring online. 

Above are four of my top selections from their current engagement ring collection. The first on the top left is my absolute favorite. The ring features a blue sapphire surrounded by 14 diamonds. I love the shape and size, and of course the color! Sapphires are so stunning and especially noticeable when you wear then on your hand among other pieces. 

The second ring on top is a round cut 0.72 carat diamond. The way the diamond is placed seems like it would be especially sparkly and shiny day to day. (Swoon!) On the bottom we have a star-hallowed diamond which is accompanied by 38 round diamonds. Something about this shape is a little more modern, but not too modern. Sort of fit for a modern-day princess! I like that this cut is very far from square, so it lacks an traditional vibes. 

Lastly, we have a round-cut diamond, my absolute favorite cut! The center stone is .44 carats and the cut gives it an unbelievable sparkle! 

Those are my suggestions for shopping the site, but feel free to browse yourself here.

xoxo 

baby blue

In seriously lust with this blue leather jacket from Tobi. I've been wearing it over all my outfits, especially to go out at night. It's nice to have a jacket that isn't so - black. I seem to always be wearing a black leather jacket so it's nice to have something in the same style but different. And of course, Spring is finally here so we as New Yorkers need to do our best to stop from wearing all the black. (Easier said that done!) This really cute white collar dress is also from Tobi. I haven't worn it out yet, but I'm really excited to once we have a warmer evening and I can sip champagne outside in it. 

Hehe, well anyways have a good weekend guys!! <3 xoxo

outfit by Tobi

photos by Christina Emilie

A Mermaid Tale

Go to Gypsy Warrior today to check out the mermaid lookbook I modeled for last week + shop the looks! 

Stay magical babies, and happy Friday 

xoxo

bushwick collective

Hanging in my neighborhood in a pretty simple outfit. I wore this kimono on instagram yesterday for a brand called FPCO limited. The tee is actually from Forever 21 and I'm wearing little leather shorts under them. The hat is new and from Nasty Gal. (I can't wait to wear this in my cowboy shoot next week!) Pretty simple look I just threw together to get some coffee down the street. 

What are you guys wearing this weekend? 

x x 

photos by Christina Emilie

the makeout club <3

New York is a crazy place to live, but beautiful when you have beautiful people to share it with. Here's a little glimpse into what I see on a day to day basis. I took these photos on a little disposable when I walked from my yoga studio to the bookstore. The others are from a night at a local bar by my home in Bushwick. 

enjoy 

xx 

never let me go

Crescent moon dips and heart fades. She doesn't forget anything, really. She pretends as if it didn't suit her, and drags her mind into the deep. Blue was the color of her longing for the distances she'd never arrive in.  It seems she could never run far enough or fast enough into the dark. The light always leaked in patches and brought her back to the surface. She just wished she could disappear in plain sight. 

You can't choose what stays and what fades away. 

dress by H&M Conscious Collection

photos by Samantha Rex