William, it was really nothing. I’m in a high rise where I’ll just stretch out and wait. My mind is at peace at the top of the city. I could fall 42 stories to the concrete, but I’m not thinking about that now. I’m not happy and I’m not sad. Will the world end when we fall asleep? Stream of consciousness to the Smiths.
Hanging in UNIF, dancing to grimes, drinking wine and letting my spirit release. We paint our fingers, we collect skulls and candles. We share cameras and sunglasses, and destroy each other’s apartments. We are the artists, the indigo children of our age, and we’re severely ADD. We don’t dance like you, we don’t dress like you. We do what we’ve always wanted because that’s all we know how to do.
I remember back in high school wishing I could be different. I wished I could be normal, I wished that I wanted to stay on the cheerleading team and spend my time at school functions. I wish I didn’t style my uniform with neon vintage platforms and oversized 80s sweaters. I wish I wasn’t sent down to the principles office every day for violating dress code in some strange way, via wearing a rosary as a necklace, a metallic bra under my button up, or a gay rights shirt.
But truth is, I couldn’t change who I was. I was severely unhappy. Then, I moved away to attend art school in the city at seventeen and BAM, it was like my spirit found it’s home. I was attending all studio art classes and painting on the tops of downtown buildings smoking cigarettes with likeminded teens. I was so happy. I was writing like never before, filling up a sketchbook a week. My blog began to take off and I was so comfortable just being me. I wasn’t stared at for wearing strange hats and shoes to class, I could show up with a pizza on my head for all my teachers cared. And since then, life has only gotten better. And sometimes I realize that I don’t appreciate it as much anymore, because it has become my normal. I wake up in a beautiful studio downtown and know nothing but art and creating and photographs and my crazy friends. And I’ve learned to take all the internet hating with a grain of salt, because I realize, they don’t live in my reality. They don’t wake up in the world that they want, they wake up in the world society gave them.
But you can create happiness for yourself, I promise. You can create a world of people where you can be the wild, crazy, pizza-wearing, club platform, shaggy haired hippie and they won’t look twice. I know a lot of my girls out there are struggling right now. You guys talk to me about living at home and feeling stuck. I was the SAME WAY! But I am here to let you know that it does get better! It does! You don’t have to be what your family wants you to be, you can be you!
I honestly recommend applying to art schools, with graduating coming up for me, I don’t think I could of done anything else! It is in art school that you will find a community of like-minded crazy-heads to create your own reality. Don’t just say, “I wanna runaway to LA!” No, no! I want you all to stay in school. College is getting a lot of flack right now because everyone’s trying to say you don’t need it. I honestly believe that we do. We’re not mentally developed when we graduate and there is no better way to keep opening up your mind to things than a college education. I know, I know some of you can “do it yourself.” Well, that’s great for you, but I don’t have the attention span or drive to take myself to the library everyday. Besides, that sounds very lonely and I love being with other kids as I journey and learn. All of my classes have been so discussion based and I love that.
Anyways, I promise I am looking through all the intern applications right now. If you haven’t applied yet, you still can! Only thing I ask is that you are in school and at least half as crazy about art and life as I am.
sweater by UNIF
glasses by Nastygal
garters by Shop Gypsum
You wake up in a wild town, sleeping with the windows open. Indigo child of the karma sutra. What will become of the truth when we keep it inside? Dark eyes manifesting the moon. You sleep inside the purest melancholy, the melancholy of the dark side of the moon.
harness skirt by Gypsm
creature coat from Miss KL
stud crop top by UNIF
mermaid hellbounds by UNIF
photos by Kiara Jade