I heard she broke your heart again. She kissed you outside the lunchroom but she didn’t mean it. Moving her sunglasses down to cover her eyes, it’s as if you never knew her. You’ll know more about her by your questions than her answers. Elusive, she lives without time.
Sex has no inherent meaning. She perceived and acted counterintuitively, never accepting arbitrary limits on her wild adventures. She was wary of those who claimed to know what life “meant”  or what it’s “purpose” is, they wanted to control her. But that girl’s a heartbreaker.

photos by Rebecca Michelle

While lying awake last night, I decided that I want to work on my next book. It will be much different than my last two, I want it to focus primarily on the words, perhaps even a chapter-book. I’ve just been thinking about the romance of getting lost in a book, the way I grew up living as a little girl emerging myself  in series after series; The Babysitter’s Club, Junnie B Jones,  and Nancy Drew. A book has a magical capability to hold us, entertain us, in the way a computer screen can’t. We must make the images in our own mind, a worthy challenge.

Lately, everything has become so fast, so immediate. Like with artists, it’s as if they have to drop a new track everyday to seem relevant. Which in turn, just undermines all the real music they could be making. I want to try to work on something for an extended period of time. The gratification of not quitting, the gratification of finishing something that you’ve put more than a day into. We have lost ourselves to the instantaneous, and therefore, have devaluated ourselves as humans. I refuse to be a “commercial,” a “fashion blog,” where I simply tell you how great it is to wear all this free shit. I will never be reduced to a commercial.

xx

The Truth About Stacey and pretending to be the Baby Sitter’s Club all day long. Four different cities in one week, I think all this traveling is finally starting to catch up to me! I’m laying on my bed in the summer sun and can’t bring myself to want to do anything but lay in it’s heat. Warming, healing, soothing, I want to finish reading a book today so I can start another. Nothing is as good as someone else’s words when you’re tired. Too complacent to muster any of my own, relaxed laying alongside my pink baby blanket. (I needed a day off, finally xo.) 

the mornings are when i find myself at ease, working days get in the way when i think of kissing with you. desert moon falls full over the ocean tide, and i am pulled by nothing but you. vanity was no longer stronger than love, she was held down by a ghost in the night, but was set free in the morning. the heavy weight upon her chest lifts with the light, as if she no longer needs to fear. the mountains said i could find you here. i can’t go back to yesterday, the sky has already begun to show it’s colors and nothing is more intoxicating than it’s hope.

photo by rebecca michelle

A crazy little blonde girl can believe in herself, even when no one else does. She can always find the good in people, even if it takes a while. She’s told that her dreams are synonymous with that of the word, “impossible,” but that has never stopped her.

Milkshakes and flowers, cherries on top of  vanilla crush  at a cafe in the summer sun. Everything is more beautiful when you’re actually looking at the world around you. You can make your own colors, paint your own stories and grow your own white roses. 

Summer hit her like a passionate tidal wave, and she was ready to ride. 

photos  by rebecca michelle

Painting in the garden, using acrylics with water and making my own collection of pastels. Listening to Little Dragon and feeling truly thankful for yesterday, my family got some fantastic news. I spent last evening at the cinema with the father & then slept on the living room floor watching Hawaii Five 0 with the boys. Feeling blessed yet sad that I’ve got to fly back tomorrow morning. Right now some friends are coming over for painting and pink lemonade out on the patio, so happy! Enjoy today! xo

P.S.    I’m tying to get together a summer reading list, do you guys have any recommendations? 

Adventures for breakfast. Hotwater pastels, She painted what she thought to be God on the balcony of his studio. It probably looked nothing like God. She never met anyone that could actually tell her what He looked like. The bible never contained a single description of His physical appearance. “He probably doesn’t look the way I painted him”, she said, rainbow pastels for clothing, eating cherries in the clouds. But then again, no one could tell her she was wrong either.

She wanted to live in ecstasy, he wanted peace. She was like a mockingbird, the way she sang in french upon the balcony overlooking the city. As she watched the taxi cabs and the people, she had the sinking feeling of being far out to sea.

  The world lay barren before her. And she was left to fill it herself. She had learned everything her father had told her, and it was all in her hands now. And she felt incredibly lucky, and incredibly hopeless, all at the same time.

Sorry my internet lovers, I feel like I’ve been away… like we haven’t hugged in awhile… but i’ve got so much good stuff coming for you this week! (So you’ll forgive me & give me besos around Wednesday…)

I had a beautiful weekend filled with coffee, oysters, cocktails, champagne, live music and sunnies in the park. But that’s not what made it so grand, I felt like I got to see so so so many of my friends, and that’s the golden ticket. It’s really the people in your life that make it beautiful. Materials and good food only get you so far, temporary fixes on something that needs a much larger Arthur bandaid…

And speaking of beautiful people in my life, I’m currently sitting at LaGuardia, waiting for my flight to go visit my Daddy today for his birthday! Talk about the most important person in my life, it’s impossible to get a gift for someone so amazing… but  I bought him the silliest book yesterday by Stephen Colbert and I’m going to fill it with all our inside jokes and sayings. Wish I could get him everything in the world, but this will have to do…

Tossing this iced coffee and plugging into some Motown on my ipod… i’ll be posting some editorials later this week! xx

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Marilyn Monroe had magnetic sexuality. As women, (okay cute gay boys too), I think it’s important that we are constantly working on some type of sexual intelligence and awareness… (okay i guess i do mean everybody!)  Emotional skills are like oxygen — invisible, and unnoticed unless missing.

I think that self-acceptance is a really big part of sexual intelligence and feeling “sexy.”  If you don’t love and accept your own body, how do you expect a partner to do so? If you think you’re a boring person, how do you expect someone else to find you interesting? You have to highlight your own strengths and stop comparing them to societal norms. Easier said than done, but if you can do it — I think it allows us to get to a feeling of freedom, and therefore, self-acceptable… and therefore, lots of “feeling sexy.” 

xo

Haunted nights, high horses and little ponies. Running with jewels and flowers in your hair. Summer tastes like cotton candy and femme fatals. If only all of us little girls could live in a neon wonderland forever. That’s the beautiful thing about fashion styling and photos, you can create all the beautiful things that dance around like sugar canes in your head and make them come to life. Bring on the summer editorials.

xx