ritual unions
I climbed the madness of the mind, penetrated it with all my worldly knowledge and acquired tactics.
I didn’t win.
In the end, it got me, threw me full throttle back down to earth and I had to face what I started climbing to forget. I really thought I was going to get away this time, it had begun to creep up on me less. I felt love in the external world and the self-destruction seemed less interesting. Never be naive enough to think you have escaped the mind’s lair. It is more powerful then your attempts at discovery and it will eat your willpower alive. I watched it devour me, I watched from the outside. But my screams remained silent, my comforts remained satisfied by this high.
We are doomed to walk back and forth on the thick line between happiness and madness, if we’re lucky, we’ll be able to manage something in-between.
photos by monica baddar
cape by one teaspoon
lovely! im gonna buy you book :)
awe carla, you always are so sweet!
I love your words
thank you
Is this about your anorexia? I connected with it
i’m glad you did.. that’s the point… but no, i’m not anorexic
You said you had an eating disorder before tho, they said I was ednos. Is that you too?
i have unresolved trauma from my childhood/ was abused by a partner for two years, it comes out in different forms of self-abuse.. most which i have been able to manage as of late : ) & therefore have been able to help others with similar problems
pray, be sober, talk to people and be honest.. it’s the only way to get better xo
Be strong Rachel!
what can the man do . already done-(Ec 1:9). Parenthetical. A future investigator can strike nothing out “new,” so as to draw a different conclusion from what I draw by comparing “wisdom and madness.” Holden, with less ellipsis, translates, “What, O man, shall come after the king?” &c. Better, Grotius, “What man can come after (compete with) the king in the things which are done?” None ever can have the same means of testing what all earthly things can do towards satisfying the soul; namely, worldly wisdom, science, riches, power, longevity, all combined.
Hi there. My name is Alex Weiland and I’m the managing editor of ACCLAIM magazine. I am interested in interviewing you for our website (acclaimmag.com). I could not find a contact email on the site. If you had a chance are you able to contact me at alexandra(at)acclaimmag.com
Many thanks.
rachellynchv@gmail.com
: )
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